21 and a whole lot of feels

So, I turned 21 few months ago and this has been on my to do list for a long long time. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days and so I decided to gift myself 21 things I should have done/remembered/accepted. Sometimes when life throws lemons at you, take them with open arms and make some kick ass lemonade to show em who’s the boss!

So here’s the run-down on 21 little things that may or may not transpire into something I’d treasure for an entire lifetime.
Heads up: Oh and here’s a fair warning to all the readers, if you think you had anything to do with me writing this post, I’m sorry you’re mistaken.

I felt, I still feel, I wrote, I’ll keep writing.

21. Battling between my highs and lows and everything in between

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There is absolutely no demarcation between the two or three or four? I really don’t know (Exhibit A). My feelings are fabricated into this perfect mosaic and sometimes, I’m so confused between what I’m feeling and what I’m supposed to feel. I spent so much time trying to feel too much and trying to feel nothing at all and realised I haven’t been feeling what I’m supposed to feel! So I decided to let them all out instead of bottling them all inside.

20. Leave, Vanish, Disappear

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There are certain days when everything just spirals into a puddle of trash and you’re so displaced and clueless; a little gobsmacked at the way things transpired. The best way to clear you head and set things straight is to disappear for a while. It can be anything; A vacation, break from social media, a new distraction.. The list is only endless.

19. If love doesn’t start with you, then don’t love at all:

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The world preaches the good that comes out of self-love. All of me truly, stands by this theory! You are this beautiful amalgamation of all things beautiful and NOBODY can question that in any way. Heck, you are stronger and powerful than you actually think you are. So if you’ve been hurt by anyone or anything based on how you look or the way you carry yourself, pluck your bullets already; you don’t deserve them.

18. Don’t blame it on the music

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So every little thing that triggers my downfall is somehow associated to one of the many songs in my playlist! That’s how I’ve conditioned my brain. I get all repulsive and nauseated just because I keep thinking about a bad memory when a song comes up. It doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t matter if the person/thing you associate it with is the most toxic or has hurt you to level max; as long as you get through the pain and don’t let it get to you, you’re free to listen to whatever you feel like!

17. Signs don’t mean shit

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I’ve always been the gullible fool who falls for anything every Tom, Dick or Harry says. Anything served on a silver platter is pretty inviting to me and I’d fall for it without even thinking straight. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years, it’s that signs don’t mean anything; all they do is seize you into the clutches of confusion and misconception and you’re left there to fend for yourself wondering what went wrong.

16. Beauty is skin deep

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YES! Yes. Wake up world! However boring and redundant this may seem, what you see on the outside is not everything! Being subjected to a mentality, where in I’d conquer the world only with my looks, style and all that jazz is absolute crap. I welcome the dark circles, zits, boils, stretch marks with open arms because I’m beyond them. I’m the bigger person.

15. Friends Come, Friends Go But Family Is Here To Stay

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Family is support system redefined. I mean, they’ve literally got your back. No matter what! In my personal opinion, one I’m not willing to change at least for a while, I strongly believe that friends are mere passing clouds in our lives; yes, there are people who’d stand by you through the good and the bad, but they won’t be there at every beck and call; you’re on your own most often with a beating heart and the love from your family.

14. Sometimes, the World Revolves Around You

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It is most definitely OKAY to be selfish. Let me rephrase that, selfish for all the right causes. The concept of loving and putting yourself before anyone else has been misconstrued a wee bit. Yes, you can be the biggest support system for someone, or a go to person for anything and everything. But don’t lose yourself in the process of helping another and completely ignoring your very existence before it’s too late.

13. Trust No-Body

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I’ve got issues; The biggest of them is trusting people way too easily; A warm smile and some reassuring words can melt me almost instantly and you can find me in your arms babbling about everything under the sun from life’s cruel ways to the million ways to get to my heart ( food topping them all)! See what I mean? Not everyone you see is as transparent as a pane of glass so don’t let your guard down!

12. Love Exists (and not just in movies)

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There have been days when I questioned love and then there are days I keep hurting and questioning my worth until I realised how dense I am. Love exists in so many ways! The best thing may be right under your nose, but you’re so ignorant to notice its existence. Love, in all its glory, exists.

11. Transparency Is The Key

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If there’s one thing that life has thrown at me and hit me hard on the head is the need to be transparent and raw. It’s a choice that we must make; to be transparent and explicit. What really matters is how others see the real shit. Masking and getting away with it, isn’t going to get anyone, anywhere.

10. Never Give In, Never Give Up

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When things don’t end the way you drafted them in your head, all you need to do is look for ways to pull strings and make ends meet; look forward and don’t flee the place, cos we’re not born cowards. Also, there’s a limit for everything. Never hesitate or be apprehensive to say NO right away if you think you’re not for it. Be decisive, wisely.

9. When There Is Balance, There Is Peace

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This Life is the perfect concoction of both good and bad! There are days when you feel devastated, broken and crushed beyond redemption and you know what? That’s okay! When good things happen, you have every right to feel elated and happy… The right amount of anything and everything is good cos balance is the key.

8.You Are the Potter and Life’s The Clay

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There are so many things and people out there plotting ways to wound you, hinder your dreams, pry your ambitions and set you back to where you started but here’s the deal. Did we sign up for a life scripted by some worthless person? Hell no. Adapt and survive. Observe and Learn…and don’t let anyone dictate terms and stop you from growing.

7.Think less, live more

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In simple terms, quit over thinking ffs. Indeed the biggest lesson I’ve learnt. Still figuring out a way to get the darn thing off my system; still trying to avoid having a mental conversation in my head about everything; still finding ways to stop controlling things beyond my reach. In this world, there is nothing scarier and troublesome than our own thoughts

6.Coping Mechanism is a good idea

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A coping mechanism is a brilliant idea to adapt and cope with both negative and positive changes! Anything that disrupts your mental health should be dealt with fearlessly. It can be anything from grieving the loss of a loved one or getting a divorce to getting married and finding a new job! Be it positive or negative there are so many brilliant coping mechanisms we can use like humour, seeking support, denial, venting.. The list is endless.

5.Practice what you preach

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This sick habit of putting up quotes and memes that resonate with our lives has slowly started to annoy me (and many others) Yes I admit it, I’m guilty of doing the same.. but it’s a whole different thing if you actually practice and adhere to whatever you plaster on your social media stories, walls and posts. Don’t let anyone point fingers and question your actions one fine day!

4.Fake people don’t scare me anymore, but the nice ones do!

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Kindly come out of your unrealistic perfectly imperfect make believe world and be real. Let’s all open our eyes, ears and actually observe the people we’re constantly engaged with! It is rightly said actions speak louder than words so don’t be mindless in choosing your friends and weak minded in holding on to the ones who will actually stay.

3.Forgive Yourself – Mistakes Are Inevitable

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We’re all human, aren’t we? And nobody is a clean slate here. Mistakes are unforgivable, yes! But they’re also inevitable and most often unintentional. One thing I’ve learnt is to stop expecting people to forgive you because it isn’t going to happen even if you make an all out effort; So, take time to forgive yourself and know that you’re strong enough to tide over anyone’s bullshit. ( and yours too)

2. You Are Never Enough for Anyone So Stop Trying

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Carrying a third person’s weight on your shoulders may be your strong suit but have you ever given it a second thought and maybe realised that even if you run the extra mile to keep someone happy, you’re never going to be enough; You’ll be expected to do more, give more! Trust me, even fear will pass, but regrets are kinda forever; so don’t be mindless in investing your efforts.

1.Remind yourself to actually follow every one of them diligently.

That’s it for now.

bye.

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If family isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

 

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NOTE TO READERS: If your priorities aren’t straight, then don’t even attempt reading this. 

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. Agree to disagree? This quote screams accuracy. Family is an abode; an anchor; a comfortable fallback; the only place that welcomes you with open arms. Love begins here and never ends! So here’s the rundown on why family is the best and biggest support system you’ll never need.

1. A SENSE OF BELONGING:

Nobody, I repeat, nobody would ease you out in no time or be there for you when all else fails.. And then there’s family. The perfect support system, love galore! They’ll throw love unconditionally in all possible directions. All you have to do it is grab it, bask in it and never let go.

2. NEVER LETS YOU DOWN:

When everyone else just zones out of your life and leaves you there to fend for yourself, there’s family waiting earnestly to grab you at the earliest and let you know that you’re never alone. There’s someone for you always! No matter what; be it in despair or happiness.

3. THROUGH AND THROUGH:
There won’t be an ounce of doubt that they’ll be there through it all. Through the good, bad and ugly. They’ll always have your back. What an endearing thought it is to have someone to hold you at your worst and put you right on top of their priority list.

4. EVERYTHING IS A CELEBRATION WHEN IT INVOLVES YOU!

There’s nothing as big as a family party at the drop of a hat. Be it your first school competition, graduation day, driver’s license test or your big fat wedding…Nobody will be as happy and cheerful as your family to kick start the party anytime and anywhere! Woot!

5. LIKE THE TWO SIDES OF A COIN:

Family can play the dual role like a pro. They can be your biggest blessing or your direct stairway to hell (well, not literally). What I’m implying is that they are very opinionated and judgmental ( which is a good thing) because you won’t get any other honest and most importantly, genuine opinion from anyone else.  They are your worst critic and your best friend.

6. PERFECT LOOKOUT:

It’s but natural for us to cringe every time our parents or elders rant about how irresponsible and careless we are! Their endless advice annoys us, I know. But in the end, we should realise, they’re only looking out for us and no one does it better than them.

7. FAILURE IS ALRIGHT:

If you fail, they’re okay with it.. not because they’re immune to it but because they know that this too shall pass.. They know you’ll make it in the end. They only want the best out of you so if you fail once, twice even 7 times.. They won’t be rattled because they know you’ll stand up the 8th time, beautifully.

8. EMBARRASSEMENT TO THE CORE:

They’re loud, annoying, nosy, inquisitive, interfering and most definitely embarrassing  at pretty much  all social gatherings.. but you gotta love them. The umpteen number of nicknames, random mockery and what not.. it’ll prick you and make you want to throw a punch but in the end, love conceals them all.

9. THEY KNOW YOUR FRIENDS BETTER THAN YOU DO:

I don’t know how they manage to do it, but they can make out who the genuine friends are in NO time. They can tell by the second you bring your friends home. And I bet my stilettos, mums rock at this game. Call them judgemental…. but they’re least bothered. The truth hurts but it wins pretty much all the time!

10.WHO NEEDS A SQUAD?  

Who needs a squad when your family is the perfect squad goal? These people are for life! No matter where you are or who you become, they’re always there to back you up because Michael J Fox was right when he said “Family is not an important thing.. it’s everything.”

A little something; a lot to take in.

So, it has been a while hasn’t it? Been some time since I last updated this hollow blog. The reason I mellowed down a wee bit was because I was so caught up with the whims and fancies that crossed my paths, distractions only a plenty and absolutely no time to get myself to pen down the million thoughts fabricating in my twisted mind every day. So at present, I’m staring aimlessly at my screen with absolutely no clue on what to write to the world. This isn’t new.. It has happened before but I always had that trigger.. You know the feeling you get when you HAVE to do something about something; something that caught your attention at the mall, or someone you bumped into accidentally on the street, or something peculiar, something that caught your attention the minute you saw it; anything or anyone. You know you just have to do something about it, either talk it out with someone or rant about it or pen it down like most of us do. But today, I’m lost. So let’s go into finer details, shall we? I mean who doesn’t want the knitty gritty fragments of a story that probably isn’t even real.

This feeling of being dead and forgotten dies down after a couple of tosses and turns when you hit the sack, but when you’re at it, it’s tragic. Almost too painful to bear and undeniably annoying. What’s worse is you ‘try’ to get your feelings sorted by yourself; cue the over-thinking phase, the tantrums, ‘can’t talk to you I’m hurting’ phase, social media updates of all sorts, anti-social monster you suddenly turn into, random breakdowns, happy playlist transpires into a depressing collection of sad pop songs phase..You ‘think’ you hit an all time low but did you..Really?  When that doesn’t work you obviously turn to a friend, a confidant. Someone you can pour your heart out to with absolutely no fear of being judged..And so I’ve been told. Ha. Fail. Your non-judgemental someone takes your emotions and unending rants in their warm hands and considers the whole thing an ‘issue’. One you should ‘get over’. That did it. That’s the trigger point, the breaking point, the saturation point.. call it whatever you want but  none of them are ON POINT to what you’re going through. NO. HELL TO THE NO. (Excuse the caps but I’m actually screaming, externally)

Why should you let someone, someone you practically used as a temporary confidant, considering we’re never going to have that one permanent friend, tell you to ‘GET OVER IT’? Get over what? Your feelings, your emotions, the way you feel, the way your body is hurting, the way your beautiful yet twisted mind is thinking, the way you want something you can’t have but you’re pushing every cell in your body to make it work? You want another person, someone who can’t even get an ounce of your thought process in their block heads to tell you to ‘get over it’? Don’t be stupid, friend. Don’t hurry your healing just because your confidant told you so.

You’ve been told to get over it because it’s easier said than done right? It’s probably the most conventional thing to say, and let’s agree, the most common solution. Okay, so you decide to take the challenge and actually learn to get over whatever the situation may be; a failure, a wound, a fight, an issue, a relationship, a lie, a betrayal..The list is only endless. Unfortunately you failed; not once, but umpteen times. It’s but natural. You’re only human and not this perfectly crafted brick that takes shit strewn across it without any shame or choice to be precise. So you keep trying until you reach a breaking point thinking you’re a wastrel, a nobody, a failure. You fall down.

That’s when you pick yourself up. It’s hard, but didn’t you reach this far? Keep trying till you’re back to your senses and you grab a hold of yourself. Forget the world for some time and then go back to square one. What did you try to do before you failed? You tried to arrive at a closure by doing something you didn’t want to in the first place, but ended up doing it eventually due to reasons better left unsaid. Didn’t it ever occur to you that at the end of every tunnel, there’s always a light? If you don’t find the light, then it isn’t the end as yet. Rings a bell somewhere? You need to get ‘through’ your hurt before you get ‘over’ it. You need to cry till your lungs give out or break till your bones are numb and be sure to brace yourself to realise it was all a whirlwind of bad days and good days are right around the corner. Everyone has their fair share of ‘get over it’ labelled worries.. Doesn’t mean they question their very existence to make the pain go away. That sort of a life isn’t what we signed up for.

High time we stop sulking around and start plucking the bullets that hurt us and discard them carefully so they don’t hurt another person. That would be the last straw on the camel’s back. Getting over it doesn’t mean fleeing far away and chilling in a safe hideout or hurrying your healing just because someone else tried it and unusually succeeded. All of us are crafted differently by the hands of a supreme being we most definitely can’t question. Getting over it means getting through it; fighting it out and never giving up on the beautiful masterpiece that you are. You’re a survivor; and if you made it to the end of this long yet somewhat sensible post, you can survive anything life throws at you. (No pun intended!)

 

Hope this rant reached out to those wanting to listen for sometime instead of venting out. Sometimes it feels better to understand than to be understood.

Be strong. You are lovely. 

TWO OF THE MANY FAVORITES

 

With around 15 books in her clutches, the Irish novelist, Cecelia Ahern has created a swirl of magic with her writing. Having written her first novel P.S I LOVE YOU at the age of 21, this woman truly moved many hearts. However the one that knocked me off my guard was Where Rainbows End, a book solely revolving around text messages, instant messages, emails, voice mails, video calls and what not. What baffled me completely is the fact that she played with the words so beautifully and all encompassing, that it made me envy the two main protagonists Alex Stewart and Rosie Dunne. Oh just so you know, I called dibs on Alex a long while ago…just in case you were getting any ideas.. Anyway, the book takes you on an unforgettable trip and urges you to keep reading without a break. The catch here is that it isn’t your conventional novel..The style of writing is beautiful and undoubtedly unique.

The book left me all fuzzy and warm inside. It serves as the perfect getaway in forgetting the world.  Shout out to all those looking for an ideal curl up on the sofa with piping hot coffee kinda book. Also, watch the film adaptation: Love Rosie starring Lily Collins and Sam Claflin(Dibs again!)

Next up… This book almost destroyed me, left me hanging somewhere amidst a tinge of hope and sadness. All the bright places marked Jennifer Niven’s debut novel.  This heart gripping, heart wrenching, nerve racking, beautifully morbid and heartbreakingly poignant storyline moved and touched not just one, but countless hearts. It revolves around two broken teenagers, Theodore Finch and Violet Markey, one fascinated by death and the other counting days for the future. It is with each other, they uncover their dreams and themselves.

I really liked Theodore Finch… the way Jennifer narrated his persona made me immediately fall in love with his wild idiosyncrasies. What shook me terribly was the fact that throughout the entire novel, Finch showed Violet different reasons to live while plotting ways to die.  Niven portrays him as a jovial, lover of life, snarky, glib-tongued boy…when in reality; he had a terribly dark and mysterious side to him. As the book develops, the readers can finally understand what’s going on in his head and his morbid and traumatic train of thoughts.

Violet Markey on the other hand was a relatable character because we share the same love to write. Her sister, Eleanor’s death left her numb and broken beyond redemption. I loved her character development and transition all thanks to Finch waltzing into her life, thus saving her.

And when these two completely dissimilar characters cross paths with each other.. pure magic. Together they wandered Indiana leaving no place untouched. My favourite was the book caravan and I’m hoping they bring out one in Chennai. ..You’ll know when you read it.

The story left me in pieces and gobsmacked for a while. I loved everything about every page and chapter. Theo… Jeez, he’s got the gift of the gab and everything made sense with and around him. Violet’s transition was remarkable and beautiful too.  Undoubtedly one of the many amazing books and a must read.

Sooooo that was my first review on two of my favourite books. At present, I’m reading Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell. I will soon read When we collided – Emery Lord closely followed by The anatomy of a misfit – Andrea Portes. I’ll make sure to fill you guys in on how amazing they are. (Yes! I’ve made the assumption already.)

P.S : Feel free to suggest some good reads  🙂 Nothing like spreading the joy of reading!

 

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THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ESCAPE

What if you have a portal to carry you to a world without music? A numb world with absolutely no discharge of a beautiful melody. Just imagine, birthdays would no longer have the mandatory Happy Birthday song, no lullabies for babies, no wedding march for the happily married couples, no foot tapping music at the clubs and pubs..What would they do instead? Chant nursery rhymes to kids? March to the hustle of the leaves? No Christmas carols? No hymns? Will the late night party animals get drunk on silence? Barren music stores with dusty shelves? No national anthems?  Whew. Just thinking about it, makes me want to plug in my headphones and thank the stars for giving me a world that embraces every melody, life has to offer.

What is my soundtrack? Every day, every single day is a soundtrack. For me, music lives in me and I live with it. I get into the finer details of this infectious disease as I feel a powerful connect and stability. What shocks me the most is the effect it has on the human race. Music is not just a bunch of chords and notes thrown together to create a peaceful sound, but a beautiful and artistic melody rendered to tether the fragmented minds of not one but many souls. We breathe music every day. Every click, clack, pit, pat, tap, clunk, swish has a role to play in this universe.

Leo Tolstoy said music is the shorthand of emotion. It’s a universal theory that music speaks louder than words. When I’m low, I go ahead and belt out one of my favourite songs and wham! I feel like I’m on top of the world. Without music how would you know if Kings of Leon could use somebody? Or what Bryan Adam’s summer of 69 felt like? Would you ever know that the Black Eyed Peas had a good feeling about tonight? I can go on forever like this. There’s something so soothing when it comes to music. It is what you would call an automatic outburst of emotions, undoubtedly the best anti-depressant, a free for all religion, universal language and it is what feelings sounds like.

For me, good music is like a warm fuzzy blanket, a cosy enclosure keeping me warm during the cold and gruesome times. It’s like a cup of hot chocolate engulfing all my pain and distress. Good music is like my best friend paying a patient ear to my worries and repaying in blissful sounds. Without music, life would be a disastrous whirlwind. There would be mayhem and chaos with no room for refuge. Just think about it! You’d rather die than stay in a silent universe.

Music is my bolt for freedom, a getaway to fabricate my own thoughts and takes on the world. It governs our emotions and feelings and plays with them beautifully. The genre of music I listen to never mattered and it never will.  With music comes a plethora of pent up feelings we never knew existed within us..And you’re so taken aback by the discovery that you go on a spree hunting for brand new things within you.

This very moment, I’m in my bedroom writing this article with music playing in the background. It’s like an attached body part…Tagging along wherever I go. I breathe music every day. It makes me a better person and opens my eyes and lets me have a taste of my imagination and dreams unfolding in front of me. Maya Angelou is a true genius because she said “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” And I second every word she said. I carry my music between here and now. Do you?

 

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KEEP THE FAITH, CHENNAI.

Pondy Bazaar, Anna University, Ripon Building.. Rings a bell? If not, Chepauk, Higginbotham’s, Fort St George, Moore Market… I’m sure by now the bells must be tolling. Chennai, Detroit of India, capital city of Tamil Nadu, home to an estimated amount of 4.8 million people and with some of the top universities, schools and heritages in its clutches has grown rapidly in the last 20 years due to its extensive growth and industrialization. From Madras to Chennai to Namma Chennai, the city has never failed to bring pride and honor to India.

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But for the last one month, the city that proved time and again to be the safest and bravest in the nation, has been declared as *DISASTER ZONE*. Having broken the 100 year old record in a day, the city is bruised beyond redemption. It all started as a light baby drizzle which then spiralled down into what seemed like the most tragic disaster the nation has ever known. The never ending torrential downpour and the release of water from storage areas which reached their capacity seems to be having their share of fun leaving no district in the state untouched. Leaving millions of citizens gobsmacked and rattled, neck-deep in the worst possible floods the nation has ever known, the situation screams grave danger. Rising to the occasion is the Indian army, local police forces and NDRF to offer magnanimous services to the cries of the local people. Having submerged the lives of so many, homes of so many and destructed the scenario of a high spirited city…the calamity failed to submerge the undying spirit and gusto of  NammaChennai.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                3 - Army flood relief coloumns in rescue operations in Chennai on 17 Nov 15

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Residents along with a dog evacuate a locality as they wade through a flooded street in Chennai

A few pictures of residents and rain affected victims strewn across different areas in the city.

More than thousands of volunteers are marching on with a strong heart and willpower to slay all the despair and misery engulfing the affected victims. Hell or high water, the city and the beautiful souls are more than willing to go out of their comfort zone to cater to the needs of not just one, but innumerable. Opening their doors wide open to strangers, topping up balance, serving hot and fresh food and doing every possible thing in their power to provide relief and comfort to those who need it the most. It makes me ponder on how beautiful and undying the humanness of Chennai is. Instead of grieving day and night about what has already happened, the city has risen beautifully to heal the grave danger it has been put into.

The city witnessed a series of chaotic days what with the prices of vegetables, fruits and milk skyrocketing, airport being submerged under water, migrants left stranded at the railway station, almost all the highways submerged with absolutely no signs of escape… despite the catastrophe, what baffled me totally was the infinite love and help thrown at the paralyzed city by our very own Chennai-ites. Seeking no help from anyone else, they took their first step forward, saving every soul stranded and crying for help. Rescue ops are still going strong leaving no cry unheard. Completely ignoring the concept of religion, segregation and casteism, churches, mosques and temples with warm hearts flung their doors open to welcome desperate citizens. So many malls, cafes, restaurants, hotels, theatres…the list is only endless. Boat services only a plenty. Providing a roof above every flood affected victim is the prime focus in and around the city. The rains still haven’t left us… They’re lashing beyond control. But, the city won’t die anymore. It’ll only come out stronger and this time….together.

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AERIAL VIEW.

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Because humanity exists. 🙂

 

It’s not just the skies that have opened up..People are going all out to provide relief and restore peace and harmony in the city. At adverse times like these, the city stands together and that’s all we will ever need.

November-December 2015 has been marked as the city’s most tragic downpour that will be forever remembered. But what can never be forgotten is the undying, eternal, infinite love and high spirit that carried the city over. The city that rose, the city that never died, the city that conquered, the city that survived and the city we call HOME. The city that stands and WILL continue to stand strong amidst the tinge of despair and hope – CHENNAI, we call it Singara Chennai.

LIVE LIKE YOU’RE DYING

You and I live in a world that revolves around people of all sorts. You and I are bound to make mistakes… Not just once, but twice, thrice, heck, for a lifetime. Flaws are a plenty, bad decisions, bad choices, bad life goals.. The list is only endless.

I’m just another girl engulfed in my own flaws and imperfections. But I’m wicked and shrewd when it comes to one thing: I make sure I have the final say in who gets to hurt me. I build walls so high, that it becomes difficult for some to break them…But, I wait anxiously and keenly observe how many of them are standing at the other end, racking their brains, to get close to me. I wait for them to make an effort, take the risk, and make the move to destroy the gigantic walls surrounding me. Most of them, fail. They can’t hold on for long. It’s a struggle, yes. But, some succeed. And, them… My God, I hold on to them for dear life.

I find it hard to go back to someone or something that has hurt me or wounded me so deep, that there’s so space for breathing. Best case example of “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”. Yes, I heal. I heal pretty fast. But, I don’t forget. And sometimes, I don’t forgive. It’s a struggle for me to come to terms with it. Go ahead.. Write me off as an unpleasant and unappealing woman. But, I’d like to stay that way. Why?

In my own personal opinion, I think all of us humans, should learn to accept the love we think we deserve. There’s no time left to waste. All of us are racing ahead against time. So why waste time investing on worthless and meaningless *stuff*? Tell me, what good is it to love, when you know it isn’t going to be reciprocated? What good is it to throw heaps of curses at the nemesis, when the damage is already done?

I’m an emotional wretch. And when hurt, I’m damaged, beyond redemption. Bruised and wounded. Not because, I’m weak. But it’s because I had and still have the grit and courage to face the horrendous mistake. Hear me out; there is absolutely NOTHING cringe worthy or humorous about being sensitive. A shout out to all who can relate to this.

Sometimes, all of us are so caught up chasing the wrong things, that we forget the best things are right under our nose. The realisation hits us hard, later. And then we’re left with regret. This life is insane. It’s a weird and cruel world out there. So, turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the liars, cowards and multiple faced humans. They don’t need your love and you, most definitely, do not need their vibes. All you need is faith and plenty of it. Mistake are made so you can learn from them. Choose wisely, love wisely. Spread happiness and accept what you deserve. Set goals. Who cares if they’re nothing but a blur? One day, it will all be crystal clear and everything will make sense to you. Until then, wander, but don’t lose the direction because someone once said “Not all those who wander are lost”. We’re here for a purpose. Let’s get the show on the road and find it. And if you already have, don’t look back.. Keep going and Keep the Faith.

Kris Allen, surely got it right when he sang “We’ve only got 86400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away”. So, live like you’re dying.