So, I turned 21 few months ago and this has been on my to do list for a long long time. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days and so I decided to gift myself 21 things I should have done/remembered/accepted. Sometimes when life throws lemons at you, take them with open arms and make some kick ass lemonade to show em who’s the boss!
So here’s the run-down on 21 little things that may or may not transpire into something I’d treasure for an entire lifetime.
Heads up: Oh and here’s a fair warning to all the readers, if you think you had anything to do with me writing this post, I’m sorry you’re mistaken.
I felt, I still feel, I wrote, I’ll keep writing.
21. Battling between my highs and lows and everything in between
There is absolutely no demarcation between the two or three or four? I really don’t know (Exhibit A). My feelings are fabricated into this perfect mosaic and sometimes, I’m so confused between what I’m feeling and what I’m supposed to feel. I spent so much time trying to feel too much and trying to feel nothing at all and realised I haven’t been feeling what I’m supposed to feel! So I decided to let them all out instead of bottling them all inside.
20. Leave, Vanish, Disappear
There are certain days when everything just spirals into a puddle of trash and you’re so displaced and clueless; a little gobsmacked at the way things transpired. The best way to clear you head and set things straight is to disappear for a while. It can be anything; A vacation, break from social media, a new distraction.. The list is only endless.
19. If love doesn’t start with you, then don’t love at all:
The world preaches the good that comes out of self-love. All of me truly, stands by this theory! You are this beautiful amalgamation of all things beautiful and NOBODY can question that in any way. Heck, you are stronger and powerful than you actually think you are. So if you’ve been hurt by anyone or anything based on how you look or the way you carry yourself, pluck your bullets already; you don’t deserve them.
18. Don’t blame it on the music
So every little thing that triggers my downfall is somehow associated to one of the many songs in my playlist! That’s how I’ve conditioned my brain. I get all repulsive and nauseated just because I keep thinking about a bad memory when a song comes up. It doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t matter if the person/thing you associate it with is the most toxic or has hurt you to level max; as long as you get through the pain and don’t let it get to you, you’re free to listen to whatever you feel like!
17. Signs don’t mean shit
I’ve always been the gullible fool who falls for anything every Tom, Dick or Harry says. Anything served on a silver platter is pretty inviting to me and I’d fall for it without even thinking straight. And if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years, it’s that signs don’t mean anything; all they do is seize you into the clutches of confusion and misconception and you’re left there to fend for yourself wondering what went wrong.
16. Beauty is skin deep
YES! Yes. Wake up world! However boring and redundant this may seem, what you see on the outside is not everything! Being subjected to a mentality, where in I’d conquer the world only with my looks, style and all that jazz is absolute crap. I welcome the dark circles, zits, boils, stretch marks with open arms because I’m beyond them. I’m the bigger person.
15. Friends Come, Friends Go But Family Is Here To Stay
Family is support system redefined. I mean, they’ve literally got your back. No matter what! In my personal opinion, one I’m not willing to change at least for a while, I strongly believe that friends are mere passing clouds in our lives; yes, there are people who’d stand by you through the good and the bad, but they won’t be there at every beck and call; you’re on your own most often with a beating heart and the love from your family.
14. Sometimes, the World Revolves Around You
It is most definitely OKAY to be selfish. Let me rephrase that, selfish for all the right causes. The concept of loving and putting yourself before anyone else has been misconstrued a wee bit. Yes, you can be the biggest support system for someone, or a go to person for anything and everything. But don’t lose yourself in the process of helping another and completely ignoring your very existence before it’s too late.
13. Trust No-Body
I’ve got issues; The biggest of them is trusting people way too easily; A warm smile and some reassuring words can melt me almost instantly and you can find me in your arms babbling about everything under the sun from life’s cruel ways to the million ways to get to my heart ( food topping them all)! See what I mean? Not everyone you see is as transparent as a pane of glass so don’t let your guard down!
12. Love Exists (and not just in movies)
There have been days when I questioned love and then there are days I keep hurting and questioning my worth until I realised how dense I am. Love exists in so many ways! The best thing may be right under your nose, but you’re so ignorant to notice its existence. Love, in all its glory, exists.
11. Transparency Is The Key
If there’s one thing that life has thrown at me and hit me hard on the head is the need to be transparent and raw. It’s a choice that we must make; to be transparent and explicit. What really matters is how others see the real shit. Masking and getting away with it, isn’t going to get anyone, anywhere.
10. Never Give In, Never Give Up
When things don’t end the way you drafted them in your head, all you need to do is look for ways to pull strings and make ends meet; look forward and don’t flee the place, cos we’re not born cowards. Also, there’s a limit for everything. Never hesitate or be apprehensive to say NO right away if you think you’re not for it. Be decisive, wisely.
9. When There Is Balance, There Is Peace
This Life is the perfect concoction of both good and bad! There are days when you feel devastated, broken and crushed beyond redemption and you know what? That’s okay! When good things happen, you have every right to feel elated and happy… The right amount of anything and everything is good cos balance is the key.
8.You Are the Potter and Life’s The Clay
There are so many things and people out there plotting ways to wound you, hinder your dreams, pry your ambitions and set you back to where you started but here’s the deal. Did we sign up for a life scripted by some worthless person? Hell no. Adapt and survive. Observe and Learn…and don’t let anyone dictate terms and stop you from growing.
7.Think less, live more
In simple terms, quit over thinking ffs. Indeed the biggest lesson I’ve learnt. Still figuring out a way to get the darn thing off my system; still trying to avoid having a mental conversation in my head about everything; still finding ways to stop controlling things beyond my reach. In this world, there is nothing scarier and troublesome than our own thoughts
6.Coping Mechanism is a good idea
A coping mechanism is a brilliant idea to adapt and cope with both negative and positive changes! Anything that disrupts your mental health should be dealt with fearlessly. It can be anything from grieving the loss of a loved one or getting a divorce to getting married and finding a new job! Be it positive or negative there are so many brilliant coping mechanisms we can use like humour, seeking support, denial, venting.. The list is endless.
5.Practice what you preach
This sick habit of putting up quotes and memes that resonate with our lives has slowly started to annoy me (and many others) Yes I admit it, I’m guilty of doing the same.. but it’s a whole different thing if you actually practice and adhere to whatever you plaster on your social media stories, walls and posts. Don’t let anyone point fingers and question your actions one fine day!
4.Fake people don’t scare me anymore, but the nice ones do!
Kindly come out of your unrealistic perfectly imperfect make believe world and be real. Let’s all open our eyes, ears and actually observe the people we’re constantly engaged with! It is rightly said actions speak louder than words so don’t be mindless in choosing your friends and weak minded in holding on to the ones who will actually stay.
3.Forgive Yourself – Mistakes Are Inevitable
We’re all human, aren’t we? And nobody is a clean slate here. Mistakes are unforgivable, yes! But they’re also inevitable and most often unintentional. One thing I’ve learnt is to stop expecting people to forgive you because it isn’t going to happen even if you make an all out effort; So, take time to forgive yourself and know that you’re strong enough to tide over anyone’s bullshit. ( and yours too)
2. You Are Never Enough for Anyone So Stop Trying
Carrying a third person’s weight on your shoulders may be your strong suit but have you ever given it a second thought and maybe realised that even if you run the extra mile to keep someone happy, you’re never going to be enough; You’ll be expected to do more, give more! Trust me, even fear will pass, but regrets are kinda forever; so don’t be mindless in investing your efforts.
1.Remind yourself to actually follow every one of them diligently.
That’s it for now.